Remote working…out of sight, out of mind?

 Is flexible working all it’s cracked up to be or does working from home play havoc with women’s careers? We asked Gill Whitty-Collins, author of Why Men Win At Work. 

COVID has left us all exhausted, demotivated, and traumatised – but if there is one gift it has given us, it is the proof that remote working works and that people don’t need to be tied to a desk in an office all day to do their job, and do it well. 

Employers have seen and understood what they should have known all along: that good employees can and will work anywhere and everywhere. Organisations have not seen a drop-off in productivity or results and, if anything, have benefitted (at least short-term and setting aside the risks of burnout) from the ‘always-on’ dynamic that has come from the lack of boundary between work and home. Meanwhile, employees have benefitted from the extra time in their day they get from not having to endure a daily commute, as well as having more flexibility to be able to run the family and home. 

As the pandemic evolves and the new world of work emerges, most companies and organisations are realising that flexible working needs to be a normal part of doing business long term. The dinosaurs are accepting it reluctantly because they know they will lose too many talented and valuable people if they don’t, the more visionary see it as something that strengthens their organisation and business results. 

Brilliant isn’t it… or is it? Remote, flexible and hybrid working should be the best thing ever – and it would be, if everyone did it. The problem is that not everybody does, or at least not everyone does it equally. It is those who carry most of the burden of running the home and caring for the kids who most need and benefit from the flexibility of remote working and are thus most likely to take advantage of it when it is possible. 

And apologies to you men out there who are pulling your weight and are 50/50 partners at home, but the data says you are very much a minority species and that, on average, women are carrying most of the burden and therefore are most in need of, and grateful for, the chance to work from home.

So what this means is the reality will be that, on average, we will see more women using the opportunity to work flexibly so they can more easily manage all of their otherwise unmanageable priorities, while more men will head back to the office – at least more often.

Why is this inevitable? The reality of the inequality between the genders when it comes to running the household and family is clearly a key reason, but it’s not as simple as that. In fact, many men tell me that they are ready and willing to take on 50% at home and work flexibly to enable them to do this, but sadly their employees are not. And this even when an employer has a clear hybrid working policy: we consistently hear stories of understanding and support for women who need flexibility in hours or location, but serious eyebrow-raising when a man requests the same – and questions being asked about his commitment to his job and career. 

The sexist bias that too many managers have is that a woman takes care of the home and family – and a man has a woman to do that while he focuses on his work and career. All genders lose from this antiquated assumption.

But these aren’t the only reasons why men will be less likely to work remotely and more likely to want to be in the office: they are also generally more savvy about what I call the Umbrella Theory. I have coached and mentored hundreds of women over the years and everyone of them has at some point told me that they believe “my work should speak for itself”. In my experience, women have more of a belief in the myth of meritocracy, while men tend to understand that it is just that – a myth. 

The way I think about it, when we work in an organisation with our bosses looking down on us from above, what they see are the tops of our umbrellas and not the work we are doing beneath them. We need to move our umbrellas aside sometimes and invite our managers underneath them to share our work with them, get their input, enrol them into it. It simply isn’t enough just to do great work – our work needs to be visible and we need to be visible. Men are smart about this. It’s why we often see them proposing a round of golf, grabbing a coffee with the boss, or ‘stopping by’ his office (even when it’s at the end of a dead end corridor!). It’s why they booked virtual catch-ups to replace the after-work beer when we were in deep Covid lockdown. And it’s why, moving forwards, they are much less likely to work remotely, even if they are allowed and encouraged to.

Whether we call it the Umbrella Theory, presenteeism or proximity bias, there is no doubt it is a thing – 64% of managers believe office workers are higher performers than remote workers, who unfortunately suffer from being out of sight and out of mind. It is a human reality that we feel more connected and confident with people that we see and know. This is why we are so often frustrated in our careers when we see someone get the job or promotion we wanted and feel we deserved it if we compare our work and contribution to theirs. It is one of the invisible forces which leads us to a situation where, despite being 50% of the population and equally intelligent, competent and capable, women hold fewer than 10% of the leadership positions in the world.

Flexible working should be the best thing ever, but it will be an absolute disaster for equality if it is gender biased and something women use while men build their visibility and careers in the office. And, unfortunately, that is how things will naturally play out unless we are conscious of the issues and intervene to address them.

So how do we do that?

Employers – make sure your flexible working policy is gender neutral, and that means in practice not just on paper. They must not be seen as ‘mum policies’, you need to respond in exactly the same way when an employee makes a request to use them, whatever their gender. If you see as many men as women working remotely, you are getting it right.

Men – be 50/50 in the home. Don’t expect your partner to carry the burden of running the household and family. Leverage your employer’s flexible working policy to help you do this, and don’t allow the sexist male vs female stereotypes to be reinforced.

Managers – be savvy about the Umbrella Theory. Don’t allow yourself to be fooled by presenteeism and proximity bias: the person who grabs you for a coffee in the office every day is not necessarily your strongest performer or doing the best work. Be intentional about how you spend your time and make sure you’re having updates with all your people, virtually if they are working remotely.

Women – be savvy about the Umbrella Theory too. Don’t expect your work to speak for itself. Don’t assume your boss is seeing your brilliance under the umbrella, move it aside sometimes and share your work. My advice is that however many hours a week you have for work, you should carve out 10% of it for self-marketing and sharing your work: so book in those updates. 

And finally, let’s remember that flexible working is a brilliant, enabling thing that drives efficiency and productivity at work and home but it isn’t an all or nothing and doesn’t mean being away from the office all the time. We are human beings and nothing replaces real, technology-free, human and team connection sometimes. Let’s not drift towards a world where women work from home and lose out at work, and men work from the office and lose out at home: let’s build a gender-neutral hybrid work world.

Gill Whitty-Collins is the author of Why Men Win at Work …and how we can make inequality history, a keynote speaker, Consultant and Executive Coach. You can buy her book here.