How to Navigate the Sandwich Years: Finding Balance in the Chaos

By Nicola Campbell-Turnbull

Finding balance during the Sandwich Years is tricky but prioritising yourself and your own wellbeing every-so-often is a must

The term sandwich generation refers to those of us caught between the demands of caring for both our children and aging parents at the same time. It’s a stage of life that can feel overwhelming, as you find yourself stretched thin between parenting, managing a household, working, and providing support to elderly parents who need increasing levels of care.

In my life, this balancing act has been a real challenge. I’m a mother of two teen girls, a step-mum to another teen girl and teen boy, I work, run a house, have a husband, I’m a sister, and a loyal friend. But on top of it all, my mum has Alzheimer’s dementia. With my dad having passed in 2015, my sisters and I are constantly discussing next steps in her care, and it’s becoming clear that the current arrangements aren’t enough. The hardest part is that she doesn’t acknowledge her dementia, making it difficult to find a care solution that works.

This stage of life doesn’t just strain your time and energy; it pulls at your heart. My kids need me to support them through schoolwork, friendships, and all the challenges of teenage life, while my loyalty to my siblings and friends means I’m often juggling other people's worries too—health issues, marriage difficulties, everything. It’s exhausting.

I’ve been trying to carve out time for myself—meaningful me-time that’s genuinely restorative rather than just a quick fix. Of course, relaxing with a glass of wine is nice, but I’ve found that swimming, yoga, padel, and walking my dog are much better for my head. The Calm app has been a lifesaver in switching off at night, and I’ve learned to savour long baths with the door firmly locked. But despite my efforts, it’s still a constant juggling act, so what can we do to make things easier?

How to find your balance During those sandwich years

Balancing the responsibilities of raising children and caring for elderly parents is a tough challenge faced by the "sandwich generation." You’re pulled in all directions, juggling work, home life, relationships, and your health. Finding balance can feel impossible, but these strategies can help lighten the load.

Prioritise Yourself

In the whirlwind of caring for others, it’s easy to put your own needs last. However, neglecting self-care can lead to burnout. Scheduling regular, restorative activities for yourself is key. Whether it’s a weekly yoga class, a morning swim, or simply taking 30 minutes for a walk, these moments can re-energize you mentally and physically. Even something as simple as setting aside time to read or listen to music can provide the mental reset you need. Make self-care non-negotiable by putting it in your calendar just like you would any other important task.

Set Boundaries

Learning to say no is essential when your time and energy are stretched. Start by assessing your commitments and asking yourself what you can realistically take on. Whether it’s at work or in your personal life, it’s okay to decline invitations or delegate tasks that add unnecessary pressure. Have honest conversations with family and friends about your limits. For example, if you're always the go-to for school pickups or organizing family events, let others know when you need a break and delegate those tasks. Communicating your needs openly can prevent feelings of resentment or overwhelm.

Delegate and Share Responsibility

You don’t have to do it all. Sharing the load with others is not a sign of weakness, but a survival tactic. For example, if you’re caring for an elderly parent, work with siblings to create a care schedule that evenly distributes tasks. This might involve rotating visits or splitting up administrative duties, like managing doctor appointments or dealing with finances. Similarly, if you’re running the household solo, assign age-appropriate chores to your children or involve your partner more in the daily routine. Even small contributions from others can add up, giving you more space to breathe.

Get Support

The emotional toll of juggling caregiving and parenting can be immense. Seeking support from friends who are going through similar situations can be hugely helpful, as it fosters a sense of solidarity. Joining a local or online support group for carers can also provide practical tips and emotional comfort. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider speaking to a professional therapist who can offer guidance on managing stress and anxiety. Therapy can give you an outlet to talk through your worries and find strategies to cope.

Simplify Where You Can

Life doesn’t have to be a constant marathon. Simplifying everyday tasks can make a big difference. Start by cutting back on non-essential activities, like decluttering your schedule of commitments that aren’t truly necessary. At home, consider batch cooking or using meal delivery services Gousto, Mindful Chef and Hello Fres to cut down on the stress of daily dinner planning. Similarly, using digital tools like grocery apps or home cleaning services can free up time and mental energy. At work, identify tasks that can be delegated or streamlined to help reduce your workload.

Finding balance during the sandwich generation years is no small feat, but with these strategies, you can create more breathing room in your busy life. Remember, asking for help and taking care of yourself is not a luxury—it’s essential for your wellbeing and that of the people you care for.