Sober Curious?
Discover why Hood Editor Emma Kate Miller is dabbling in binning the booze in midlife
As I approach the milestone of 50, I find myself navigating the tumultuous waters of menopause. Alongside the unpredictable teary moments, surges of rage, chronic fatigue, itchy ears (I know, right! What is that about?), and an expanding waistline, one glaring issue has emerged: my growing intolerance to alcohol. For someone who has always enjoyed a cheeky beverage, this realisation has been tough to accept. The once delightful three or four glasses of ice-chilled rosé now leave me waking at 3 a.m., drenched in sweat, riddled with anxiety, and sometimes struggling to recall the previous evening’s events. The hangovers have become utterly debilitating, often forcing me to cancel all plans for the following day. I’ve arrived at the realisation- it’s just not worth it anymore.
From Cynic to In it
Ironically, I used to roll my eyes at the mere mention of Dry January and Sober October. I thought those attempting sobriety must be feverishly dull, unable to appreciate the joy that comes with a well-earned drink. The pop of a cork was one of my favourite sounds, a signal of relaxation and social connection. Though I would only drink socially once a week at work functions, I most certainly participated in a tipple or two. But as my body changes, so too must my habits.
To give some context, I came of age in the 1990s, during the era of the ladettes. Zoe Ball swigging Jack Daniels on the way to her wedding to Fat Boy Slim, Ulrika Jonsson downing pints in one go, and Kate Moss, Sara Cox, the Appletons, and Denise Van Outen enjoying hedonistic nights out at the Met Bar were iconic images of the time. Having moved to London at 22 as a fresh-faced PR, this was the culture I found myself immersed in. While most of those celebrities have long since toned down their behaviour, trading Jägerbombs for yoga mats, those of us who grew up alongside them simply switched our hard spirits for fine wines.
PAIN OUTWEIGHED THE PLEASURE
So, I’m trying to go sober(ish). This is no small feat for me, considering I haven’t gone a week without a glass of wine since I was last pregnant in 2005. The challenge is amplified by the fact that much of my work life revolves around events where champagne flows freely. If I’m honest, I rarely experienced the nightly wine o’clock craving like many of my chums, but come Friday at 5 p.m., there was an internal alarm set for wine, olives, and spicy prawns. This ritual of sitting with my husband and dissecting the week was a comforting habit. But then one bottle stretched to two… well, you get the gist and Saturday plans were being cancelled all too often. I have reached a point where the discomfort of living in a body tortured by the effects of even a splash of alcohol outweighs the pleasures it provided.
The first step has been acknowledging that my body is changing and that my former coping mechanisms no longer serve me. The unpredictability of menopause has forced me to confront the reality that alcohol exacerbates my symptoms rather than alleviating them. The night sweats and anxiety attacks that follow a night of drinking are clear indicators that my body is rebelling against this once-enjoyed pastime.
Emma’s Alcohol-free Strategy - Finding Alternatives
Replacing wine with alcohol-free alternatives is my new strategy. These substitutes may lack the sophistication and immediate gratification, but they also come without the crippling hangovers and restless nights. Haven’t really gotten into the whole alcohol-free scene until now as I haven’t really seen the point but needs must. So I am willing to give it a go. In the name of research.
The social aspect of sobriety poses its own set of challenges. Work-related events and social gatherings have always been synonymous with alcohol consumption—this is Scotland, after all! Navigating these environments without a drink in hand feels alien, and there’s an underlying niggle about how others might perceive my choice. Will I be seen as a killjoy or out of place? These concerns are valid, but they pale in comparison to the overarching goal of feeling comfortable and healthy in my own skin.
Whether I’ll be able to maintain this newfound sobriety remains to be seen. Putting it out-there seems bold, but perhaps it will hold me to the commitment (she types as she stares at the underused treadmill). However, the initial decision to prioritise my physical health and mental well-being over a transient buzz is a significant first step. As I embark on this journey, I hold onto the hope that a sober lifestyle will not only alleviate my menopausal symptoms but also lead to a deeper sense of self-awareness and empowerment. Let’s raise a glass to new beginnings and finding solace in sobriety.
If you're also navigating the challenges of reducing alcohol, whether during menopause or not, I’d love to hear from you. Share your go-sober stories, tips, and suggestions at emma@hoodmagazine.co.uk.
Emma’s Favourite Non-alcoholic Wine Options
Curious about non-alcoholic wines? Dive into these refined flavours, perfect for enjoying the taste and ritual without the after-effects. Whether cutting back or seeking something new, these little beauties are ideal for savouring and celebrating.
